I shove Flannelgraph Jesus out of the way, nearly tripping over the rows of clones I had once cut out for my mom's kindergarden Sunday School Class. Art Jesus stood and watched, his head cocked in a way that made me want to give him my chiropractor's phone number. He held Christmas Pagent Jesus, a creepy-looking plastic doll that could only blink. I pulled away, ducking around Boyfriend Jesus' outstretched arms, frantically singing to myself to block out Lecturer Jesus's nasal voice.
Just as I thought I'd pulled away, a figure in tweed and a bow-tie pulled up alongside me. Great, I muttered to myself. Of course this one would be fast. He spends his life running around time and space.
"Hey, slow down. Don't you want a trip?"
I bit my lip and try to stay calm. But this is Sci-fi Jesus, a Jesus who looks amazingly like the Eleventh Doctor, and it is all I can do to look away from the green eyes without giving him a hug and going "Poor little Time Lord!" Aslan-Jesus roars somewhere in the distance, and Coffee-Time Jesus appears with a mug of Starbucks, which I quickly knock out of his hand.
I'm escaping my imaginary Jesuses.
Imaginary Jesus by Matt Mikalatos is currently availible as a free e-book on Amazon and elsewhere. I loved the zany combination of humor and theology, from the tagline "through space and time...and Portland" to the thirty-Jesus pileup. It will definately challenge your perspective of God.