Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Imaginary Jesuses

I shove Flannelgraph Jesus out of the way, nearly tripping over the rows of clones I had once cut out for my mom's kindergarden Sunday School Class. Art Jesus stood and watched, his head cocked in a way that made me want to give him my chiropractor's phone number. He held Christmas Pagent Jesus, a creepy-looking plastic doll that could only blink. I pulled away, ducking around Boyfriend Jesus' outstretched arms, frantically singing to myself to block out Lecturer Jesus's nasal voice.
Just as I thought I'd pulled away, a figure in tweed and a bow-tie pulled up alongside me. Great, I muttered to myself. Of course this one would be fast. He spends his life running around time and space.
"Hey, slow down. Don't you want a trip?"
I bit my lip and try to stay calm. But this is Sci-fi Jesus, a Jesus who looks amazingly like the Eleventh Doctor, and it is all I can do to look away from the green eyes without giving him a hug and going "Poor little Time Lord!" Aslan-Jesus roars somewhere in the distance, and Coffee-Time Jesus appears with a mug of Starbucks, which I quickly knock out of his hand.
I'm escaping my imaginary Jesuses.

Imaginary Jesus by Matt Mikalatos is currently availible as a free e-book on Amazon and elsewhere. I loved the zany combination of humor and theology, from the tagline "through space and time...and Portland" to the thirty-Jesus pileup. It will definately challenge your perspective of God.


  1. GREAT thoughts.

  2. Reading it now. It's really funny! Can't wait to see how the author ties it all together!