1. The Doctor is not some Greek god who litters the earth with half-human offspring. His family was lost in the Time War, with Susan (possibly) and Jenny the SOLE exceptions. He didn’t have children with any of his companions.* **
2. No slash. I don’t read it, don’t review it, don’t approve of it. No exceptions. And for heterosexual romance, going beyond a kiss is going to turn me off.
3. No other Time Lords escaped the Time Lock besides the ones we already know about.
4. No word-for-word rewrites of the episodes. Dialogue borrowing is fine in moderation.
5. I’ll read self-insert companions if: a. I’m in the mood, b. They’re funny, or c. They actually have depth. Haven’t found any of C yet.
Rose: She is happy with 10.5 and stuck in a parallel dimension. If not, I’d rather see it as her fault then the clone’s.
Martha: Stop making her into a jealous ‘other woman.’—Granted, that is how the writers treated her, but that’s why she left: SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE THAT WOMAN!
Donna: SHE CAN’T REMEMBER. As much as I would love that, she can’t remember. Dreams and flashes are fine, but no full-blown remembering.
Amy: She MARRIED Rory. She stays with Rory. Same goes for Rory.
River: Since season six, I’ve been seeing A LOT of new stories with her. Most of them are good.
I don’t have particular gripes about Classic characters, but in general, I like stories where characters are kept intact and developed along canonical lines. For example, I’m venturing to the edge of AU with “River, Pond; Melody, Song,” but I am trying to keep River as she would be onscreen.
Side grip about Sarah Jane Adventures:
Stop adding new kids to the gang. We have wonderful characters without adding new ones. What I’d really love to see is some stories developing Sky’s character.
*I have found one author who writes this well enough that I love it. I might read. But it would have to be very, very good.
** Because of his human aging, I will read Rose/Ten II relationship. But I'm not a huge romance fan overall. (Added in response to Losterial.